November 23, 2012

A Roadblock

Posted in Crashes, Journey, ME/CFS tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 2:07 pm by Reva

Lately I’m finding work is stressing me out.  A few weeks ago I was finding myself in tears at the thought of going to work and I decided it was time I reinstigated my sessions with a psychologist. 

I have a history of depression and while it’s been well under control for the past year or two I know I get “all up in my head” and start reading more into situations than are necessarily there.  With these tearful sessions I thought it was time to nip it in the bud before I was back in a place of full blown depression.  Unfortunately the psychologist I worked with previously is no longer practicing in my area so it’s been a process to find a new one and get back into the system.

Between making the decision to return and now I’ve come to realise that the work stress is not in my head, that everyone around me is feeling it too.  When I completed forms with my GP today my depression and anxiety scores were in the normal range but my stress score was through the roof.  I wasn’t surprised but I was also quietly relieved to have identified a trigger to my depression and got on top of it before it truly started having further impact on my life.  It’s also sort of a relief to have identified what is the most likely trigger to my lastest series of crashes, although the tough part of working through it and learning to cope all over again is probably just about to start.