March 2, 2013

The Miracle Question

Posted in ME/CFS, Progress tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 9:48 pm by Reva

Have you ever been asked the miracle question?  It’s a question that my psychologist asked me, that many psychologists ask.  It can help with goal setting, with identifying what you want to achieve.

Suppose tonight, while you slept, a miracle occurred.  When you awake tomorrow, what would be some of the things you would notice that would tell your life had got better? And what would you do?

my magic wand

For me, the first sign something was up would be I wouldn’t feel more tired than when I went to bed.  In fact, I wouldn’t feel tired at all.  My limbs wouldn’t ache, it wouldn’t hurt move.  I could move my fingers easily, then my arms and legs. There would be no nausea.  Instead of having to gradually prop myself up, one extra pillow at a time to try to let my head adjust to being upright, I’d just get out of bed.  In fact, I’d feel so good I’d go for a run before breakfast.

NewYrs-Resolution-Humor02

After the run I wouldn’t feel like I’d been hit by a truck, I’d feel energized.  I’d have a long hot shower and I wouldn’t feel breathless, nor would I need to lean against the wall to make sure I didn’t fall over.  Afterwards I’d make a great tasting breakfast, whatever I felt like.  It wouldn’t matter how long I was going to have to stand to prepare it, or if I had all the ingredients.  I wouldn’t have to think twice about going to the supermarket to top up on what I needed.

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After breakfast I’d go shopping.  Instead of going in with a plan and sticking to clothes that I knew I needed, I’d try on all the gorgeous dresses and shoes, just for fun and to see if the different styles work for me.  No need to worry about standing or moving up and down.  I would be able to browse.  Slowly looking at everything, smell the fragrances, feel the different consistencies.  I wouldn’t notice all the noise.  I wouldn’t have to walk past shops that m     ake me curious because I would still feel great.

shopping

When I got home I’d read.  Not just some easy to read chick-lit or magazine.  I’d read one of the books that require me to think because I wouldn’t be forgetting what I’d read by the time I got to the end of the page.

While the sun was out I’d weed my garden because no longer would my head be spinning when I bent down to pick up the weeds.  I wouldn’t stop until I was done, and the weeds would be thrown away, not left in a pile for the next time I had some energy to spare.

I’d paint my hallway, and replace the doors on my front cupboards.  While I was at it I’d replace the light fitting and the front door.

Later on, I’d be ready to bake.  I wouldn’t have to choose simple quick recipes.  I could do something complicated and beautiful.  It would have layers and many textures; and I could eat it without worrying about the sugar crash afterwards.  In fact, I’d probably turn it into a bit of a spontaneous get together by inviting my friends over to share the food because socialising would be easy.  Conversation would flow and I’d be witty.  I would think of the great one-liners on cue, not half an hour later.

retro housewife

The night would linger on and we’d go out for drinks.  I’d be wearing heals because my legs would still not be aching, and I wouldn’t be struggling with balance.  I wouldn’t be choosing the least expensive option because I’d be working fulltime and therefore I’d be able to afford a few indulgences (and this is a miracle).  I’d stay alert all night, and mingle rather than sitting catching my breath in the corner, watching what’s going on.

the-energizer-bunny-energizer-bunny

When I finally am ready to go home to sleep, I fall asleep right away.  My sleep is restful.  My kidneys decide not to go into overdrive and fill my bladder waking me throughout the night.  I sleep the whole night through.  There are no weirdly vivid dreams, I won’t wake sweating and trying to work out whether what just happened was real or not, and if I do dream, I won’t be exhausted in my dreams.

pigs might fly

And who knows, maybe I’ll awake to another miracle day.